I love my apartment, but the level of violence that seems to surround my neighbourhood lately is starting to get unreal. I feel perfectly safe during the day, but it seems like every weekend someone is getting stabbed or beaten up or whatever in one of the bars near my house. But this week it was taken to a whole new level when a man walking home with his groceries was randomly jumped and beaten almost to death less than a block away from my front door. Shit’s getting surreal. I don’t understand why people feel the need to be so impulsively violent. Find a fucking outlet, for christs sake.
Getting so tannnnnnnn :) (Taken with instagram)
Thighs looking so good :) (Taken with instagram)
My left hand arm is numb again.
Fuck.
Fuckkity fucking fuck.
So today I got another really bad headache and a bloody nose and I couldn’t tell if it was from the weather change and low humidity in my 100 year old apartment or if it was another one of those “going to have a stroke and dying” kind of things.
But then I remembered that my life is going too good, and I can’t die because I’m actually happy for once and I’ve got all my mental issues like my depression and psychosis and my selective attention and lack of empathy and abandonment issues and all that crap sorted and level and that I’m actually building functioning positive relationships in my life. So now is really not a good time to die. Unless this was a shitty teenage drama on primetime TV like an episode of the OC, then this would be the perfect time for me to suddenly drop dead and shake things up a bit. But my life is pretty average, and I’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much.
#quote #skins #alo #peterpan #wendy #neverland #tragedy (Taken with instagram)
Today I ended up in the hospital.
I woke up with a headache, and I thought I was dehydrated. So I drank a bunch of water. And then my headache got worse and I thought I wanted to die. I literally thought my head was going to implode on itself and I was going to start spitting up blood and I have never, in my life, experienced such pain. Not any single time that I broke my nose or have had the crap kicked out of me. I actually thought I was going to die, so I did the one thing that I could think of. I called 911. And when the paramedics arrived at my house they found me curled up in a ball on the hardwood floor crying, unable to move my left leg.
Long story short, after them pumping me full of liquids and blood thinners, and me animately refusing pain medication, I had a clot in my sinuses, likely from when I got my face broken at Terror, that broke loose and was travelling to my brain.
I’m 21 years old and I almost had a stroke.
I have never been so terrified in my life.
Except for that one time I got rear ended by a semi on the highway, or that other time I thought I was poisoned and spent most of the night puking behind my friends tent before passing out on her air mattress and puking some more. But that last time was just pure stupidity on my part. And a frequent reminder of why I no longer poison myself with drugs or alcohol.
