Most of the time I walk around with this attitude of being way cooler and smarter than everyone around me. It’s only when I meet someone that I think might trump my attitude that I know I want to be friends with them.
As exciting as it is with all these states legalizing same-sex marriage. Its rather annoying that wisconsin still has not made it legal. I wanna plan my damn wedding already.
Come to Canada. It’s pretty up here and we love everyone and everyone’s right to love anyone.
I legitimately can’t believe that there are people out there that are dumb enough to believe that Autism is caused by vaccines.
i don't know why Dan is my friend.
- Me: Wanna make five hundred bucks? I just found a girl on kijiji looking for a personal trainer for a month
- Dan: OH YES.
- Dan: Wait. What does she want?
- Me: *sends link* i just saw it and thought of you.
- Dan: She wants someone to give her a crash diet. WTF.
- Dan: I could probably do it.
- Me: Just take her to the gym with you and yell at her on the treadmill while you lift. For all you know she could be decently in shape and look like me but just want more definition or whatever you call it I'd say it would be worth e-mailing her at least.
- Me: I mean, I could look fabulous. I'm just too lazy.
- Dan: You could totally look fabulous!
- Dan: That was a backwards compliment. Sorry, not sorry.
- Me: I'm happy being skinny and bony.
- Me: You like muscles I like bones.
- Dan: Ew.
- Me: Unless you can get me to looking like supermodel skinny, but I don't see that happening. My legs are pretty fucking naturally.
- Me: I mean if you could get my legs to look like Carmen Electras I'd be cool with that. ITG man you can't fake it.
- Me: She said as she sat on her couch eating perogies covered in tatziki sauce...
Why is Miley Cyrus on my TV when the US, UK, and France are literally a few words away from launching a military strike on Syria? Not only that, but this has the potential to cause grave consequences in terms of the world superpowers such as Russia, China, etc. Seriously, wake the fuck up Amer…
Ignorance is bliss.
What is the logic behind “let me show up to my doctors apt 20 minutes early.”
I don’t get it and it’s actually aggravating sometimes because I’m supposed to be on lunch right now and there are 3 people staring at me eat from the waiting room.
Just be ON TIME. Not late, not super early.
The struggle is real.
Today I said to the woman “we’re on lunch for another 20 mins.” and she said … This isn’t a joke… “Oh, you guys get a lunch? Ha.”
The only reason I ever show up for my doctors appointments early is because my doctor seems to have no concept of appointments getting priority over walk ins so the earlier I show up the more likely I am to wait but at least get out around the time that I was expecting.
I dropped my phone and now it won’t turn on my life is actually over fuck fuck fuck. And if you think I’m being overdramatic you can go fuck yourself you try planning a wedding when everything is on your phone that won’t turn on.